hi.

it’s been so long since i posted.  it’s not that i don’t want to post.  just that i haven’t.  figured i’d try to end 2010 with a set of goals i have for 2011.

categorizing my goals.  i want to keep it pretty simple and easy to follow.  being a  youth pastor blurs the lines some between personal and professional goals, but it beats creating categories like “godly” and … well “ungodly” doesn’t it?  i realize that the personal goals cat could really be broken down into 3-4 sub cats but that’s just too complex for someone who typically doesn’t write goals.  anyway… this is how i grouped them.

• personal
• professional
• financial

personal goals

spiritual:  i would really like to be a little deeper than i am now.  to accomplish this i’m going to do an in depth study of a book of some of the important authors of the nt (like any of them are unimportant).

• specifically i’m going to study a book by john, paul, luke and isaiah.  this means that i’m going to try to cover one bible book each quarter of 2011.  haven’t determined what books yet or what order.  i’m going to start with the book of john as it’s fairly familiar and seems like a great place to start.
• begin journaling my devotional times again.  (sometimes maybe even on the blog).

family:  looking over at the last year i wonder where it went.  a lot went on and it seems like 1,000 years ago that we were sitting in the hospital in silver city with our son for a week.  after that everyone else took their turn being sick and job changes.  i want to be more “present” with my family.

• grow my relationship with my wife.
• i don’t think i spent enough time in “kidland.”  i’m going to make it a point to spend time each day completely immersed in their world, ignoring all the boring grownup stuff.
• take a family vacation (we’re planning disneyland later this winter)

ministry:

• i want to spend more time doing what Jesus did.  not because it’s my job (hence it’s not under professional) but because i want to do something for someone else.  God’s love for us should inspire us to do for others that they might develop a relationship with Him.  i have an incredible opportunity to hang out with students all the time.  it’s one of the most rewarding things i do.  but i want to branch out a bit and take these students with me.  i want to listen more and try to view the people around me through God’s eyes.

physical:

• i don’t want to lose weight.  my weight is fine, i just want to be a little more healthy.  i want to be a bit leaner and stronger.  i’ve already begun riding our stationary bike but i’m going to push it over the next year and additionally would like to pick up some weights but don’t have any specifics on that…

professional goals

church:

• this year i’ve been awful about keeping office hours.  it pretty much morphed into the best way to catch me in the office was sunday afternoons.  starting next week, i’m going to schedule time in the office every week, during the week.  sure i’ll still be around most sunday afternoons but i also want to be in the office SOME during the week.
• i’d like to make sure the programs in the ministry are more rounded and meaningful.  everything that happens will be measured by the long term impact it has on students spiritual lives.
• finally, i’d like see tremendous growth on the student ministry team.  these people are amazing but i’d like to help them reach the dreams God has placed in their hearts.  i’m going to take time each month to connect with the leaders and find out how i can help them along their own journey.

n2ITion now: 

• definitely gotta finish the website.
• begin cultivating some of the ideas in my head that may provide a couple of revenue streams to help reduce the dependence on a single account.
• add at least 4 projects from other accounts to be completed this year.

financial goals

• tithe at least 10% all year (same goal, just continued)
• buy a car
• build the health savings account
• build the emergency account
• fully fund retirement account

today i was driving to a staff meeting and praying about how i feel disconnected from what God is doing around me.  the meeting was not extraordinary.  it was just a simple meeting but when i left i noticed that i didn’t feel quite so disconnected.  in fact, i felt much more connected to what God is doing in my community and my church than i have in a couple of months.

i know that my recent inconsistency has left me feeling like i’m drifting spiritually.  so this afternoon i get a few minutes to spend in the Word and i start reading Hebrews 2.  suddenly i realize that i haven’t been paying attention to what i have heard.  it’s so easy to make God way too small and me way to big, at least in my own head…

Hebrews 1:3 – Jesus is the exact representation or exact "Stamp" of who God is.  His very WORD "carries" the universe or all things.

how can i even pretend to understand Jesus?  who am i that HE should even think of me?  yet i constantly roam around acting as though I am important.  MY word cannot carry the universe.  in fact, i can’t even get my kid to stop crying. 

a few weeks ago @ #CraveLife, the worship band introduced me to a song by Addison Road called “What do I know of Holy”.  If you haven’t heard it, you should definitely check it out.  the song talks about the distance felt by an ordinary person compared to a Holy & Perfect God.  it does a really good job of articulating how disconnected and small we can feel.

sure am glad for the latter part of Heb 1:14 

Photo by westera2 via flickr (creative commons)

i’ve decided to go through the book of hebrews for a while during my devotional times.  it should be noted that i will probably study the same passage for several days so the posts won’t be in verse order…

i like hebrews as it tells some great stories of faith & people with messed up lives who overcame their faults through the power & good news of Jesus.

hebrews 1:9  – speaking of Jesus, the Father says:  "You have loved righteousness & hated wickedness.”

What is wicked?

the greek word indicates lawlessness or without the law.  the idea seems to be that of acting as if there were no rules.    maybe it’s like…this particular rule doesn’t apply to me or this rule isn’t important.

seems a bit scary how often i act the things i do aren’t as bad as the things others do.

i’ve been wanting to blog for a long time.  i just keep struggling about what i want to write about.

i’ve had this blog for about 6 months but i have been very inconsistent.  heck, inconsistency seems to be one of the things i’m good at.  my spiritual life is very much the same way.  sure there are moments when  i am close to God, when i’m “spiritual”.  however,  i’d have to say that on the whole, it seems much more like i fail to grasp what Jesus is trying to teach me most of the time.

carving out time to spend with Jesus is one of the hardest things for me (as it is for a lot of us…).  so i figured i might let these two areas of my life intersect for a while.

i’m not naive enough to think writing will help me clean up my spiritual life or even make my walk more consistent, but maybe this experience will help me learn a little…

(photo by *sean via flickr)

recently, a friend gave me some good advice.  he said, “enjoy (your kids) while they are young.”  he was implying that as they get older they grow more mischievous.

i was thinking about that yesterday afternoon while we were outside.  our daughter looked up @ the sky and said, “ooooh look God painted that.  He sure is a good painter.”  she was right.  God had given us a beautiful sunset filled with pinks, purples and oranges which she promptly pointed out.  although the sunset was beautiful, hearing her acknowledgement of God’s work around her seemed to make the sunset pale in comparison.  at least to me.

don’t get me wrong, we have no illusions that she is perfect.  she’s constantly proving that she is part of the fallen race of man.  it’s just that the innocence is so overwhelming.

often i think of my own walk in a similar way.  when i’m close to Christ, my faith is more childlike.  somehow more innocent.  then during those times when i’m further away, i become more mischievous i guess kind of like those kids down the street…

is the day. October 11, 2009. my first day @ Heart of Mesa. i am very excited to jump in and get to know these students.

up till now i’ve had a few people that i REALLY know with me every time i’ve met with the students. today some of those people are out of town (note to self: fall break might not be the best time to start a new ministry.) today two of those people will be gone. today, there will only be one student that i’ve known for more than a year. almost everyone else has been an acquaintance if i knew them at all.

there are so many possibilities just waiting in this group. so many things i want to get done.

i pray the gang over @ CVBC has a good sunday and are ready to see what the Lord has for them today. danyelle, doug, bruce, theresa are all super terrific leaders and i know that God has uniquely gifted them and made them able for such a transition.

today is a good day. God gave us this day so that we might worship Him! everyone have a great sunday.

well, tomorrow’s my last day as youth pastor @ cvbc.  feels weird. 

i’m really sad to be closing this chapter but also very excited to for the next.  when i look at the two churches, i see so many differences.  makes me wonder if i’m equipped for hom.  i know i’m probably not equipped, but Jesus is & He’s called me to hom so there is a great deal of excitement.

someone else is teaching tomorrow; that’s a relief.  i don’t have to try to focus on much other than worship.  that will be nice.

looking forward there is so much i’m getting ready to do. over the new few weeks i plan to work through my view of where the ministry currently sits & begin praying about how to advance things from here.

for now, i need to get a little rest & spend some time in prayer so i’m ready to face tomorrow.  i’m sure glad it’s all in God’s hands & not mine.

well, i now have an outward reminder of the inward change i’ve experienced since i’ve been at college view.  the students picked a really cool design & is all done.  i couldn’t be happier with it.

this is what my finished tat looks like now that it is completed; right after i took the bandage off & cleaned it.

these students have forever brought me closer to Christ.  the whole time i’ve been trying to point them to Christ, they’ve been pointing me to Christ.

this past weekend, a mom killed herself and her two sons.  some of our students knew the sons.  this has been very hard for me to understand and reconcile, as a youth pastor but mainly as a parent.  i just can’t comprehend the emotions that would make one take the life from their children.  i can kind of see how depression and pain can lead you to feel that your life is worthless.  those at least make a little sense, but i cannot fathom what would make you kill your own children.

–

over the last several weeks i’ve been praying about and wondering what i would be saying my last few lessons.  i’ve talked to a few people and even posted on a forum that i frequent.

i thought of using some of the parables or maybe something from abraham, david, or joshua; maybe paul or john the baptist.  finally, i decided that God’s message for the next little bit is for me to tell them of His love for them.  so i figure i have 3 more times to talk to them…

here are the lessons:

Love God because God Loves You

Love God’s People because God Loves You

Love God’s World because God Loves You

that’s what i think God has to say.  in this messed up, dark, cold world:  God Loves You  that’s what this is about.

my prayer is that over the last 4 1/2 years, that’s one of the main things they’ve heard from me.  God Loves You.  people may mess up and even give God a bad name; but God Loves You.

tonight was the first of these lessons.  it was also the night they chose my tat design (this pic isn’t my actual tat, but it’s the basic design i’ll be getting.  it might vary a little but you get the idea.